Smile for me
by i-am-hungry
Summary: sequal to the LaviXLenalee fanfic 'Memory' Fluff never had a better description XD


yo, long time no see XD

well this is a sequel that have written for my LaviXLenalee fic and if i ever have time ill write a prequel

now that i think about it it really has nothing to do with the preivious one but still, all the same

fuff XD

DGM (c) Katsura Hoshino

* * *

"Why don't you just face the fact?" Road mused, standing up on Rero.

"What do you mean?" Lavi said, taking a defensive stance against the Noah.

"Book man junior." Road continued, flexing her arms, "A clan that exists only to record, nothing else. The bends and twists of history you cannot interfere." She smirked, "As the successor of the Bookman clan, you're helpless to affect that flow. And when you beak it. It's gone." She clicked her slender fingers, "Just like that." Her sentence ended in a hiss.

"And what if I hav-"

Road put a finger to Lavi lips, "We've been watching, us Noah's, everything. Everything that's happened, everything that's happening. Including what you've done." Her finger traced down to his chest, "Remember, you have no heart. Just like us, Bookman Junior."

Lavi threw himself away, away from the words that hit him like reality. Holding his useless innocence in front of him. He pushed away those feelings of insecurity, knowing that it wouldn't help.

"I saw…" the words were spears "…you killed them, those people. Those people, innocent people." her smile grew wider by the second, "You have no emotions! You are no different to us Noah!"

"Shut up! SHUT UP!!" he didn't want to hear those words, the things that he had thought he had forgotten so long ago. Those feelings of dread and fear overwhelmed him. "Please stop…" he fell to his knees, arms attempting to shield him from the words.

"Why don't you just face the fact? You killed them! You killed them!" Road continued to taunt.

"STOP IT!!!" he screamed.

***

Lavi woke up, his chest heaving up and down. He gasped for air, clutching the sheets that were drenched in sweat. Sitting up, he readjusted his eye patch, convincing himself that what happened just then was a dream.

"It was all a dream." he whispered hoarsely, "A dream…"

He got up and pulled himself out of the bed, opening the widow quietly, letting the cool night air calm his senses down. The wind hit his face, gentle and soothing, caressing his hair and startled feelings. His emerald green eyes reflected the moon as he thought about the dream.

Why did Road have to re-open an old wound, a wound that had taken so long to heal. The pictures of people dying flew through his mind.

"They didn't defend themselves. They just pleaded." Lavi reminded himself, the words escaping his lips.

He saw himself stabbing at the helpless people, fearing for his life. Blood splattering everywhere, the blood of innocent people. Smeared on his face, a reminder of his wild, unreasonable actions. Something he now wished he had never done. As the hands pulled at his sleeves, mothers, children. He continually hacked away at them like wheat with a sickle. Except what he was hacking wasn't wheat, it was human hands.

***

Lenalee made her way back to the kitchen with her empty tray, previously filled with coffee cups, humming to herself. She walked along the corridor she always did, staring out the arched windows at the azure sky, littered with clouds. Concentrating on the hallway again, she looked forward. A door opened on her right, she turned in surprise. It was Lavi.

"Good morning!" she smiled tilting her head to one side. Lavi looked slightly pale.

He looked up, "Good mornin" he muttered and walked off towards the dining hall, hands in pockets. Lenalee was worried, Lavi wasn't like his usual self today. She followed him down the hall.

Aroma's of bread, soup, pancakes, eggs and bacon filled the air as Lenalee stepped into the cafeteria. She gave the empty tray to Jerry and scanned the large room for her red-headed friend. She spotted Lavi hunched in a corner all by himself. She crept over and sat next to him. Lavi didn't seem to notice, continuing to stare blankly at the walls.

Lenalee slid her hand onto Lavi's forehead and her own, comparing temperature differences. Lavi snapped out of his faze and looked up.

"You don't seem to have a fever." Lenalee stated after awhile. Lavi went red, disconnecting eye contact and turning away.

"Hey, Lavi are you really OK?" Lenalee asked, still not sure that Lavi was in the correct state of mind.

"Never mind" he brushed aside, getting up and walking out of the noisy hall.

Lenalee wasn't very pleased with his reactions.

Lavi took the elevator to the top floor, exiting where the wind blew as gently as it did during the night. Lenalee still persisted to follow, seemingly oblivious to Lavi.

He sat on the ground and crossed his legs, staring blankly into the sky.

"WHY?" he suddenly shouted after a while, "Why?" he clutched his head in his hands.

Lenalee was surprised by Lavi's sudden actions, she touched his arm lightly, "What's wrong? "

"I wish I was never born into this world." he whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

Lenalee hated what she was hearing, she got up.

Lavi felt impact on his cheek, the sound causing startled birds to fly off.

Lenalee slapped him.

She fell to her knees in front of Lavi, hand raised again.

"You're wrong Lavi. You were born into this world for a reason. You and I. We are all here because fate lead us here. That's what you have friends for! To help and support you. You have Allen, Kanda, nii-san, every one at the Black Order…….and me…so don't act like this!!"

Lavi continued to look away, eyes beginning to overflow with tears.

"No! Don't look away Lavi!" she held his face in her hands, forcing him to look her straight in the eyes.

"It's impossible! I can't! I can't get rid of those images those people. I JUST WANT TO KILL MYSELF! I don't deserve to live!" Lavi cried.

Lenalee let go. Lavi pulled himself away.

"You're- you are more fortunate, than a pitiful person like me. I killed all those people, that sin cannot be washed away." he looked at his hands with disdain, knowing that even these hands, he didn't deserve, "I changed history. I am no longer worthy of being a bookman." the words came out, barely audible. "I, envy you. Fortune is on you side."

Lenalee slapped him again.

"So that makes me fortunate! Are you happy now? You're more fortunate! I'm less fortunate! Using that as a gauge to make comparisons between people, using it that to determine who wins or loses. Having other people judge if you're a success or a failure, does that make you happy! " Tears began to spill from her eyes, as she continued to punch Lavi, burying her face in his chest.

"You saved me that time, from Tyki. You can't imagine how stupid, how helpless I felt then! I thought, just once, that my existence on this earth was just stupid, meaningless! I forgot you, your name, everything about you! Afterwards, I realised I couldn't give up on life yet! Because you needed me! Nii-san needed me! The most important of all was that I needed you!"

She paused for a second as Lavi's tears continued silently to roll down his cheeks as he listened to his lovers words. Her breath coming out in gasps.

"But now, I realise. That every one is promised the same amount of happiness and unhappiness. From individual from individual. It's just up to you to decide wether the glass is half full or half empty."

Lenalee gave a weak smile, "No one in this world is more fortunate than the other, because we all deserve the best, receiving the equal amount we give. We all deserve to accept that happiness that we are promised, no one can change that fact." She wiped the tears from Lavi's face.

Lenalee leaned over Lavi, "My share of happiness was meeting you." she whispered in his ear. She pulled away slowly, looking at Lavi's face.

He

He was asleep, not hearing those last few words.

Lenalee smiled again, running her hands through the sleeping exorcists hair, giving him a small kiss on the forehead.

Her golem beeped. Hearing her brothers cry she gave a giggle, know why she lived upon this earth, day after day. Because every one needed her, she needed every one else. She took off her coat and placed it over Lavi, making sure not to wake him up. Giving him another small kiss on the cheek, "Thank-you" she murmured, getting up and making her way to the elevator, "I love you…"

***

Lavi's eyes fluttered open, light streaming out of his bedroom window. He sat up, thinking for a while, weather everything that happened was a dream.

He pulled himself out of bed, spotting a coat, that wasn't his, at the end of his bed. He picked it up and shook it out, seeing that it was rather small. He couldn't suppress a grin. It was Lenalee's, her scent over flowing from the coat.

Lavi held it to his chest, breathing in Lenalee's smell, a slight aroma of lavender.

Seeing a piece of paper fly out from the pocket. Curious, he picked it up.

On it was some writing, scrawled across the snippet of paper:

"Dear Lavi,

I can't do anything for you,

So I'll smile.

Nor will this smile have any special

powers or any meaning.

Just a smile.

A smile.

That will hopefully reach you.

A smile that will make you smile….

Lenalee"

Lavi did smile, folding up the paper and lacing the priceless treasure in his pocket.

He walked down the hall, whistling to himself. Remembering the lessons from that day, keeping them to his heart.

"I may have 49 names, all of them fake, including Lavi. But, when ever you call my name, I am Lavi. When I hear your voice, calling out my name, I am the person called Lavi, the person you want me to be…"


End file.
